Dear Santa - Holiday Contest Entry

Happy Monday! I do not usually post on Mondays, but today is an exception because...
it is the Susanna Leonard Hill's 4th Annual Holiday Contest!


Here's the challenge: "Write a children's story (children here defined as approximately age 12 and under) in which wild weather impacts the holidays!  Your story may be poetry or prose, silly or serious or sweet, religious or not, based on Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or whatever you celebrate, but is not to exceed 350 words."

Here's my entry: 

 Dear Santa,

I can explain about the glue, the scissors, and my sister's hair the incident.  It was an accident. It was my sister's fault. It was a mistake.  I was going to ask you for an iPad for Christmas, but since the incident, mom said, "it is out of the question, Buster" I don't want one anyway.  What I really want is for you to help a man I saw yesterday.  When we were coming home from the beauty parlor and my sister was having a spaz-attack upset about her hair, I saw a man standing on the curb.  He wasn't wearing a coat or a hat.  He was holding a dirty cardboard sign that said he didn't have a job or food.  It said he was a vet, but I didn't see any dogs or cats around him.  I'm worried about him.  The weather lady who looks like one of my sister's Barbie dolls very nice said that there was a blizzard coming with lots and lots and lots of snow.  I know I have a big mouthed tattletale sister made mistakes, but that man on the street maybe didn't.  I try to be good. Actually I've been good this year, this month, this week today. Instead of getting me an iPad, can you help that man? I think he needs lots of stuff for the cold.  I bet you stay warm because you are fat have a warm red suit.  That man needs a warm suit, but it doesn't have to be red.  I like blue, but don't bring him anything purple. Any color is fine.  And can you hurry? I know Christmas is still 16days, 13 hours, 43 minutes a little ways away, but the blizzard will be here tonight.

Love from,
Louie

P. S. Since I wrote a nice letter can I at least get an iPod you write me back? But only after you help that man I saw yesterday. 



©2014 Bridget Magee
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55 comments:

  1. Linda BDecember 8, 2014 at 2:03 PM

    Aw, it's a sweet story, Bridget. Love the cross-outs. You've told a lot about Louie, & made him the complex character children usually are (but don't always show). Good luck!

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    1. Bridget MageeDecember 8, 2014 at 4:38 PM

      Thanks, Linda! I appreciate your kind words. I've seen a bit of Louie in both of my kids at one time or another. =)

      Delete
  2. Elaine Kiely KearnsDecember 8, 2014 at 5:11 PM

    What a great story! I love the crossed out, it looks something like my kid's lists right now! Good luck in the contest!

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  3. Tracey M. CoxDecember 8, 2014 at 5:47 PM

    This is so true to for a little boy with a big sister! I'm sure my siblings felt this way about me!
    Loved how you gave him depth with the crossed-out words. :)

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    1. Bridget MageeDecember 8, 2014 at 6:55 PM

      Thanks, Tracey! It is tough being the big and little sibling - pros and cons to both. =)

      Delete
  4. Teresa RobesonDecember 8, 2014 at 9:42 PM

    Such a clever way to tell your very sweet story! I agree with the others about the cross-out words too. :)

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    1. Bridget MageeDecember 9, 2014 at 7:50 PM

      Thank you, Teresa! I appreciate your kind comment. =)

      Delete
  5. Manju HowardDecember 8, 2014 at 10:12 PM

    Great concept! I cross-outs help draw the reader with the kid's real voice.

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    1. Bridget MageeDecember 9, 2014 at 7:52 PM

      Thank you, Manju! I think kids feel one way, but they know they have to write a formal letter another. I was trying to capture that. =)

      Delete
  6. UnknownDecember 8, 2014 at 11:10 PM

    Precious!

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  7. Patricia T.December 8, 2014 at 11:16 PM

    Such a heartfelt story. Never enough altruism. Great entry -- crossed out words and all. They did flush out Louie's character. Good luck.

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    1. Bridget MageeDecember 9, 2014 at 7:54 PM

      Thank you, Patricia! Louie is a good kid - despite himself. =)

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  8. Tina ChoDecember 9, 2014 at 6:07 AM

    Great letter story and very true. Wish all kids cared like Louie!

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    1. Bridget MageeDecember 9, 2014 at 7:55 PM

      Thank you, Tina! I think most kids think like Louie - they are aware of so much more than we realize. =)

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  9. JohnellDecember 9, 2014 at 3:49 PM

    Brilliant and so needed, and the sub story was really fun.

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    1. Bridget MageeDecember 9, 2014 at 7:55 PM

      Thank you, Johnell! I appreciate your kind words. =)

      Delete
  10. Kelley LewisDecember 9, 2014 at 5:05 PM

    really sweet and subtly funny

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  11. LindaDecember 9, 2014 at 5:20 PM

    I laughed so hard and then teared up too, Beautiful.

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    1. Bridget MageeDecember 9, 2014 at 7:57 PM

      Thank you, Linda! I'm glad I was able to bring a smile to your face today. =)

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  12. UnknownDecember 9, 2014 at 11:32 PM

    Oh Bridget, This is sooo touching and sooo funny at the same time. I hope Louie gets his wish.

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    1. Bridget MageeDecember 10, 2014 at 4:51 PM

      Thank you, Teresa! Yes, I hope Louie gets his wish, too. =)

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  13. Alayne Kay ChristianDecember 10, 2014 at 1:22 AM

    I love this story because I can relate to Louie and the way he censors what he's saying. The crossed out words cracked me up. Very funny.

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    1. Bridget MageeDecember 10, 2014 at 4:52 PM

      Thank you, Alayne! I think I relate to Louie too - maybe a little too much. LOL =)

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  14. Catherine JohnsonDecember 10, 2014 at 1:27 AM

    Absolutely fabulous, Bridget, You did so well to maintain a rhythm with the strikethroughs too. What a neat idea! And a kind story for Christmas.

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    1. Bridget MageeDecember 10, 2014 at 4:53 PM

      Thank you, Catherine! I appreciate your kind words. =)

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  15. AnonymousDecember 10, 2014 at 3:56 PM

    Nice combination of humor and sentiment -- that is hard to do!
    Kristen

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    1. Bridget MageeDecember 10, 2014 at 4:54 PM

      Thank you, Kristen! Yes this was hard, but Louie had something to say and I had to listen. =)

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  16. Christie AllredDecember 10, 2014 at 5:28 PM

    Like the comment above, I enjoyed how you managed to combine humor with a serious topic. I especially like your cross-out technique. Good luck. :)

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  17. Robyn CampbellDecember 10, 2014 at 8:48 PM

    Great read. The crossed-out words make this story a keeper. It would be a good picture book.

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    1. Bridget MageeDecember 11, 2014 at 12:33 AM

      Thank you, Robyn! I would love to see this as a picture book - thanks for the suggestion. =)

      Delete
  18. Susanna Leonard HillDecember 11, 2014 at 3:32 AM

    What a great story, Bridget! I love your MC's voice - it comes through so perfectly with all those cross-outs (very funny!) :) I laughed out loud multiple times - always a good sign :) But I really like that under the authentic kid voice and the humor is a good heart and a message about taking care of others... in a very believably kid way :) Great job! Thanks so much for joining in the holiday fun!

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    1. Bridget MageeDecember 11, 2014 at 6:20 PM

      Thank you, Susanna! I truly appreciate your encouraging words and for hosting this great contest every year. You are a gem. =)

      Delete
  19. Vivian KirkfieldDecember 11, 2014 at 6:09 AM

    Oh Bridget...I love your story! It moved me to tears...your mc was so real and authentic...I connected with him immediately. Wonderful message...you had me engaged from the first line. Incredible!

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    1. Bridget MageeDecember 11, 2014 at 6:21 PM

      Thank you, Vivian! I'm glad Louie was able to touch you in a real way - we need more smiles than tears, though. =)

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  20. NickDecember 11, 2014 at 11:39 AM

    This made me proper laugh out loud! And combined with a nice message too. Really like it :-)

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    1. Bridget MageeDecember 11, 2014 at 6:22 PM

      Thank you, Nick! I'm so glad you got a good laugh. Louie would be proud despite himself. =)

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  21. Stacy S. JensenDecember 11, 2014 at 6:02 PM

    Very nice letter to Santa. (I'm more of a naughty person, so I LOVE the crossed out parts.) Last year while I attended a MOPs program, we assembled blessing bags with some toiletries, snacks and a list of resources to hand out to people asking for help. I need to make some more of those.

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    1. Bridget MageeDecember 11, 2014 at 6:23 PM

      Thank you, Stacy! I'm a bit of a naughty person that's why I was able to channel Louie. The MOPs program sounds wonderful! =)

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  22. Sylvia LiuDecember 11, 2014 at 6:45 PM

    Awesome story - love the cross outs. Very clever and funny and touching, not an easy combination.

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    1. Bridget MageeDecember 11, 2014 at 9:41 PM

      Thank you, Sylvia! I SO appreciate your kind comments. =)

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  23. AnonymousDecember 11, 2014 at 8:20 PM

    Bridget, your story-letter brought tears to my eyes because it is - unfortunately - true-to-life for many vets. Your crossing out of words and humour also brought smiles. Great writing. :)

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    1. Bridget MageeDecember 11, 2014 at 9:43 PM

      Thank you, Lynn! Yes, the reality for many vet is often bleak and like the vet in this story, sometimes dire. Louie is like a lot of kids/adults who see the problem and want to help. =)

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  24. UnknownDecember 12, 2014 at 1:20 PM

    I love how Louie leaves little clues for Santa! Now, you need to write a part two to tell us if Santa found the clues.

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  25. Bridget MageeDecember 12, 2014 at 3:58 PM

    Thank you, Saranyan, for that great suggestion! Yes, I do think a reply letter from Santa would be fun. =)

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  26. Carrie Charley BrownDecember 13, 2014 at 5:20 AM

    Very clever, Bridget! The crossed out style is fun!

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    1. Bridget MageeDecember 13, 2014 at 8:48 PM

      Thanks, Carrie! I appreciate your kind comment! =)

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  27. Lauri MeyersDecember 13, 2014 at 8:55 PM

    Bridget, this is great! I snorted a few times on the cross outs.:)

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    1. Bridget MageeDecember 14, 2014 at 5:11 PM

      Thank you, Lauri! I'm so glad I was able to make you snort. You made me smile with your kind comment. =)

      Delete
  28. CA ClarkDecember 14, 2014 at 9:47 AM

    beautiful, touching and cute all in one. well done

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    1. Bridget MageeDecember 14, 2014 at 5:12 PM

      Thank you, Cecilia! I appreciate your kind and generous feedback. =)

      Delete

Thank you for taking the time to comment! :)

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